The Perfectly Timed Package.

(Two posts in one day? What?!)

May 7th is not one of my favorite days of the year. On May 7th of 2013, we had an ultrasound confirming that we had lost a baby for the fourth time. On May 12th, Mother's Day, our loss became physically real. It was a very painful reminder that we still were not "parents" even after the two years since our D&C from our third loss. (May 13th, 2011. May was obviously shaping up to be my favorite month.)

This year I've dreaded having so many "milestones" in the span of 7 days, plus Mother's Day. (I wasn't expecting to have two little ones in the house to keep me busy!) These days are difficult. They aren't just reminders of was lost but also that I'm still not a "mother" by most people's definition. My short pregnancies are far too often overlooked. The (unintentionally) hurtful comments are endless.

I was pretty surprised when I came home on May 7th to find a box, wrapped in green paper, addressed to me. It was from one of my sweet friends I've been blessed to find after our losses. She's been so excited and supportive about our foster journey. I opened it to find a box STUFFED full of clothes and socks. She must have been stocking up for this box every time she went shopping! It had an outfit for every age between the age of 12 months to 5T. Plus socks.

I pulled out every outfit. I oohed, aaahed. Then I cried. A good cry. I didn't expect to cry a good cry on May 7th. Aside from being incredibly kind (seriously, unbelievably amazing), this package was a reminder of how close we are to being parents. Yes, our parenthood is going to look different. Our kids may come and go. They'll be ours for that time though. We'll be there to love and hug. The first ones to get them up in the morning and the ones to cuddle them before the get into bed. We're going to have the blocks and shapes to step on in the living room after the lights go out. (Ouch. This happened this week. It's not pleasant. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.) We're right on the verge of it all.

So, sweet friend, you know who you are. I could never thank you enough. I know you probably didn't plan the timing, it was all His. You are so wonderful. I'm so thankful for everything that you put into this. You have no idea how much it means to us. You ARE a beautiful person, through and through. We are blessed that you are in our life! <3 

Our First Foster Experience.

I've been trying to blog for a week and a half now. I WILL get my last post done, I WILL get my last post done.

Saturday, one of my long time and closest friends (she's family!) graduated with her Master's! I was able to celebrate her wonderful accomplishment at a BBQ her boyfriend and family threw her. It was hot and wonderful. So much fun!

Congratulations Lara!! <3 <3

While I was at the BBQ, I got a call from our agency asking us to take in four children for emergency respite. Four little ones, five years old and under. My heart would take every single one of them. Realistically, I knew couldn't fit four kids into either vehicle. We don't have a house for four children. So, it broke my heart to say no. 

An hour or so later, I got another call. "Are you sure?" They still couldn't find someone and needed these babies moved now.

No, we really can't take four.

Shortly after. "We have to split them, can you take the younger two?"

Let me tell you, going to zero kids to two kids is exhausting. Our house isn't quite ready but it's close so that made the transition made even more interesting. This year, we spent our first Mother's Day with kids in our house. It was completely unexpected. I knew that we were throwing control out the window by deciding to foster. This week has cemented that fact in my head. I'm very quickly understanding that with fostering, everything, absolutely everything is unexpected. 

These little ones are still with us. Today they are spending the day, reunited with their older siblings, with a potential adoptive family. The older siblings weren't the only ones excited. Our two little guys were squealing with joy to see their brother and sister! Please pray for everyone involved. This is a big decision to make, especially because they have four children already. <3 

I think for our first experience, we've had a great one. The kids adjusted fairly quickly. They sleep pretty well and eat extremely well. Our "Oh!-We-need-this!" is growing quickly.

We leave for Omaha VERY early Saturday morning, so the longest we can have them is Thursday. They can't go out of state with us. (We're just emergency respite for now and if we were already licensed, it takes longer usually to get an okay for out of state visits.) It's been a blessing that this family has expressed interest in adopting the entire sibling set. They've had them for six hours and a half hours. I can't wait to hear how things are going. Please, please pray!