Why Adoption?

Adoption is an interesting topic. People don't know a lot about it the process, the different options or much of what it entails at all, other than an adoptive family is paired up with a birth family who can't parent for some reason. People have mixed feelings about it as well. It seems that most have a pretty positive outlook on it but there are people that believe are very selfish in their hope to adopt instead of alternatives.

Some people believe adoption is an incredibly selfless act. People think that the adoptive parents are "saving" the child and giving it something he or she wouldn't have otherwise. This isn't (at all) the reason we've chosen adoption. We've chosen adoption because we want, desperately, to start a family. In the two years between our last two pregnancies, adoption crossed my mind frequently. When I thought about, I felt such a tug at my heart. I mostly just pushed those feelings aside, as we were both determined to get pregnant on our own. We both very much wanted to experience a successful pregnancy. At our first appointment for our 4th pregnancy, things didn't look so good and we ended up in a state of limbo. At this point, adoption started creeping back into my head. The tug and ache at my heart returned. After it was confirmed that we were losing another baby, I knew we would be adopting.

Our doctor reminded us that there wasn't anything stopping us from trying again, on our own, or with a fertility intervention. Nothing had come back abnormal in the many tests that had been performed. It didn't matter. Adoption would be our next step.

When people say that we're "saving" a child, it makes us out to be some kind of a saint. We're not. If some mentions how lucky a child is to be adopted, they are wrong. So often it's the PARENTS who are lucky to have that child. To be given the chance to love and nurture it. To be chosen by the birth family to step in and taken on the roles of mom and dad. That's a blessing to the adoptive parents. I hope and pray that we will be blessed with a child. I would feel SO incredibly lucky to be chosen.